All of the religions and ancient wisdom traditions teach us to love. Indeed, all of them have some version of the Golden Rule in their sacred texts, reminding us to treat others as we want to be treated. We often forget to apply this to ourselves.
What if you were to consider yourself as your own best friend? Think of how you speak to your closest friends. Do you support them, or do you tell them they missed the boat? You support them, of course! Why not support yourself? I often have days when I feel like a loser – like my best days are behind me. On these days, I go to a scrapbook I made. In this book are many cards and notes from my closest friends, reminding me that I am special them, even though I am not feeling at all that way at the moment.
I love how Anne Lamott put it in her book, Bird by Bird, a delightful book on writing that also applies to living. She talks about the radio station that prevents her from writing – WFKD. This station broadcasts in our heads, a result of a life time of criticism, judgement, and grading from those around us. Most people have our best interests at heart, but may have been a bit harsh and hurt us without realizing it, or perhaps it was due to their own inherent weakness of character. They may not know any better, because this is how they were always treated. Or maybe they simply had a bad day and regretted their behavior later. Sometimes we take things the wrong way when we are having an off-day.
When my mind broadcasts on this frequency, I make it a point to write 5 things for which I am thankful in my gratitude journal, which I began after reading Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance. Then I take note of the negative things I say to myself and write down why they aren’t true. Perception is relative – every negative label can also be a positive label. For example, stubborn is also persistent, meek is also humble, bossy is also confident, all depending on how you look at it. So I put a positive spin on my negative thoughts.
What station are you listening to? WLUV or WFKD? The choice is all yours.